Ungrateful Me

Col. 3: 12-17 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

I want to really love my brothers and sisters in Christ and really point them towards His glory. But often, I completely fail at accomplishing that desire. Why? Because I am deeply sinful. My first thought when I say “hello” to another person—even at church—is usually “what can they do for me?” My desires naturally come first in every relationship I have. I will often manipulate conversations so that I am the subject, or I'll find a way to make sure everyone in the circle knows I'm the best at some skill. I'll put too much effort into friendships where I am complemented and my ego is stroked, and not enough into the ones where I have to give time and energy with little reward. All this is because, in my flesh, I am a proud and needy person.

As I read the passage above, I was hit with conviction again and again. Each trait is a perfect description of everything I am not--“Kind, humble, meek, patient, forgiving.” These are all character qualities I expect from the other people in my life but neglect in my own actions and words. How can I stop needing every friend to meet my needs, and start genuinely loving others?

The key is right here in this passage. Of the (about) 15 commands for believers that are in these verses, there is one command that is repeated 3 times. Be thankful to God--through Christ Jesus.

When I am looking to other people to make me happy, it shows a disgusting lack of thankfulness to God. Rather than being grateful to Him, I think I deserve “more”, and “better”, and “different” than all He's given me. Rather than resting peacefully in the joy and hope He gives, I turn to people who can never give me perfect joy or hope and get frustrated when they don't.

There is only one way that I can be free of me-centered relationships and the letdown I feel when people don't make me happy.  I have to become truly thankful to God my Father through Jesus Christ.

Only then I will see the truth.  I already have everything I need in Jesus. When He uses the people in my life to provide me comfort, encouragement and support, I will praise Him for that. But I have to see that, no matter how wonderful these people can be, they are not my primary source of joy. In Christ, I have the hope of boundless joy in eternity future—and the peace that passes understanding in the here and now. I'm going to thank Him tonight so I can love others better tomorrow.