What Are You Wearing?

Why is it so darn hard for me to do what other people want? There is always someone that I have the opportunity to give up my own desires for. It could be that one particular friend who needs a big chunk of my time and energy to bear their burdens—as if I didn't have issues of my own to deal with. Or maybe it's that certain someone who the Spirit's been telling me to reach out to, though my gut tells me there are a million more fun people to hang out with. Or what about those two people who live in the same house as me, and, for some reason, get to tell me when I need to be home at night? If you're about my age (or ever have been) chances are you've butted heads with those two at some point in time.

Unfortunately, the issue is not immediately apparent from the surface level of these relationships. It's not as simple as, “I need to get at least something in return—just giving is too exhausting.” It's not as okay as “I need to take a break from reaching out so I have a little time for me.” And with the 'rents, I only wish it was as forgiveable as “I'm learning how to make decisions for myself.”

No, the problem is deeper—much deeper. At the core of my deceitful heart is the seed of pride.

1 Peter 5:5 

Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

Have you ever picked out a great outfit for yourself to wear, only to find at the end of the day that there had been a big stain on your shirt the whole time? It's the same way with pride. You may think you appear humble and caring, when in reality your obnoxious pride is rubbing off on everyone you talk to. Being clothed in pride is never just having pride in your heart. It shows—much more than you would like.

On the other hand, when you are clothed with humility, you are wearing a shirt that says “submissive to others.” Interestingly enough, this may not (I mean probably won't) mean that others notice your awesome attitude and give you a high-5 for being spiritual. It may not even mean that you get so much as a “thank you.” What it will mean is that you stop talking and listen; or stay after church catching up with that person you've never really clicked with; or come home 2 minutes early instead of 15 minutes late.

And guess what else it means? This is the part I'm excited about...because I didn't tell you yet what comes next in 1 Peter 5. Verses 6 hits us with this offer: “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time.”

I don't know about you, but I would rather be exalted by God than by myself. Because every time I try to make myself seem like a cool person, I get reminded how little and insignificant I really am. Who cares if Carly thinks you're great? My vote doesn't really count for much. But God—He's omnipotent!  He's eternal and infinitely glorious! And you're telling me that I get exalted by Him if I'm humble? “In due time” seems worth the wait.

Makes Me Want to Be There

One of the books I am reading right now is "The Good News We Almost Forgot" by Kevin DeYoung.  This book divides the Heidelberg Catechism into 52 Lord's days, with commentary on the catechism by DeYoung.  Lord's Day 22 deals with the subject of Heaven.  Reading this chapter made me want to go to heaven so much more by the time I was done.  I hope my favorite quotes from it have the same effect on you, because I know God wants us to rejoice in the eternal hope we have (1 Pet. 1:3-9).  I'm so excited for the day we can finally be there together.


Some quotes:


This [here on earth] is the intermediate state where we experience the joy of fellowship with Christ even in our disembodied existence. But this is not our final hope. Ultimately we are waiting for the resurrection of our bodies.


It's hard to grasp the goodness and delight of life everlasting, because “no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined” the blessedness that will be ours in the age to come (1 Cor. 2:9). But we must trust that God will not disappoint. Everlasting life is an article of faith (“I believe...”). We must believe with longing and hope all that the Bible teaches about our final state. We are meant to think of the end of the story more than we do.  pg. 112


[Heaven is] like that rare moment when you know in your bones that God is with you and you know you really love Him and you want to sing and shout and tell everyone how you feel...except the moments never stop and never wane.


All this experience of delight and glory will go on forever. On earth, all our joy is fleeting. Food tastes good and is gone. Sex is enjoyable, then it's over. Kids are precious, but they drive you nuts. On earth there is anticipation of pleasure, a moment or season of delight, and then it passes. Joy is always mingled with pain. Delight is always interrupted by suffering. But not in heaven. There, the glory and delight and love are always growing, always swelling, and always increasing as we learn more and see more of God. Every Tuesday is better than Monday. Every Wednesday is better than Tuesday. Every Thursday is better than Wednesday. Nonstop, continuous, everlasting glory. 113

Ungrateful Me

Col. 3: 12-17 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

I want to really love my brothers and sisters in Christ and really point them towards His glory. But often, I completely fail at accomplishing that desire. Why? Because I am deeply sinful. My first thought when I say “hello” to another person—even at church—is usually “what can they do for me?” My desires naturally come first in every relationship I have. I will often manipulate conversations so that I am the subject, or I'll find a way to make sure everyone in the circle knows I'm the best at some skill. I'll put too much effort into friendships where I am complemented and my ego is stroked, and not enough into the ones where I have to give time and energy with little reward. All this is because, in my flesh, I am a proud and needy person.

As I read the passage above, I was hit with conviction again and again. Each trait is a perfect description of everything I am not--“Kind, humble, meek, patient, forgiving.” These are all character qualities I expect from the other people in my life but neglect in my own actions and words. How can I stop needing every friend to meet my needs, and start genuinely loving others?

The key is right here in this passage. Of the (about) 15 commands for believers that are in these verses, there is one command that is repeated 3 times. Be thankful to God--through Christ Jesus.

When I am looking to other people to make me happy, it shows a disgusting lack of thankfulness to God. Rather than being grateful to Him, I think I deserve “more”, and “better”, and “different” than all He's given me. Rather than resting peacefully in the joy and hope He gives, I turn to people who can never give me perfect joy or hope and get frustrated when they don't.

There is only one way that I can be free of me-centered relationships and the letdown I feel when people don't make me happy.  I have to become truly thankful to God my Father through Jesus Christ.

Only then I will see the truth.  I already have everything I need in Jesus. When He uses the people in my life to provide me comfort, encouragement and support, I will praise Him for that. But I have to see that, no matter how wonderful these people can be, they are not my primary source of joy. In Christ, I have the hope of boundless joy in eternity future—and the peace that passes understanding in the here and now. I'm going to thank Him tonight so I can love others better tomorrow.